I loved before and I had been loved.

What happens when someone you love hurts you? What happens when someone loves you? What happens when you’re confused with your own feelings? Lastly, what happens when the person who hurts you, loves you?

You woke up to find the other side of the bed empty, with no one. You sighed, it is a daily routine. You were always alone, although you are married. Well, forced marriage. You began to tidy up the bed. You went out to the living room, no notes on the table or anything. You showered and went out to have your breakfast. You were always bored stiff at home, so you decided to shop around. When you reached home, you were greeted by a question “where have you been all day?” Your husband, Zack, asked. “I… I went out to shop around.” You meekly replied. “Whatever, it’s none of my business anyway.” He headed for the door, “where are you going?” You asked. “Who are you to ask me?” He retorted and slammed the door hard enough for you to flinch.

You slump onto the couch and tried hard not to cry. He had not showed you any concern, at all. Always those mean words that hurt you like a dagger pierced through your heart. You were tired from all these but what can you do? You love him, too much to stop loving. After so much brooding, you did your daily stuffs and headed to bed. Every day, Zack would come home late and leave early in the morning. Sometimes you wonder, was it because of you? Does he detest you so much? There is no love in this marriage, not really. Only one sided love from you. No matter how bad or mean he treated you, you didn’t give up because you believed that he’ll feel your love, one day.

One day you were out for grocery shopping. You were listening to the radio with your earpiece, blasting the volume. Heading for the road, you didn’t hear a car horning. Before you knew it, you were unconscious. Waking up with a hint of dizziness, you groaned. “Hey you’re awake! I’m going to call for the doctor.” A guy wearing a cap said and rushed outside of the room. The doctor said that you’re to stay under observation for 2 days. “You are…?” You asked the guy with the cap. “Oh, I’m John. I’m the driver who almost knocked you down.” He said with his head looking down. “I’m Susan. I guessed it’s my fault for not paying attention to the road.” You smiled a little. “Erm, do you need me to contact your family members?” He asked and you immediately said no. “I… I don’t want to worry them.” You said meekly. He just nodded, not pressing any further.

Zack was welcome by an empty house. “Susan.” He called out but no one answered. He began to call you but the ringtone was heard in the bedroom. He had no ways to find you and he’s getting worried. “Why am I getting so anxious for her? If she doesn’t want to come home, don’t then.” He said to himself and proceeds to bed.

These 2 days, John had been staying by your side and also both of you had become closer. You were packing your stuff as you were discharged from the hospital; John came in and helped you. “I shall fetch you home, in case you were not paying any attention again.” He tried to joke. “Well, okay.” Upon reaching your house, just when you get out of the car you saw Zack coming out. “Where have you been?” He asked you harshly. “I… My friend needed help as she was sick so I stayed at her house. Sorry for not informing you beforehand.” John was at the side wondering why you did not tell Zack that you were in the hospital. “Then who’s that guy?” Zack asked. You looked back to see John looking questionably at you. “He, he is my friend’s brother. He just wanted to fetch me home.” You said, not daring to look at John anymore. “Whatever pack the house. It’s messy after 2 days.” “Okay.” You answered meekly as Zack walked off. You were about to head inside your house when, “Who is he Susan? Why don’t you dare to tell him the truth?” John asked, feeling anger upon seeing how Zack treated you and how you were so weak in front of him. “You don’t understand…” “Yes, I don’t understand. So I want you to explain to me.” You turned around to see him in front of you. “I… I…” You struggled to say but your tears are falling. He raised his hand to wipe the tears off your cheek, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t yell at you. I… just…” You buried your head against his chest, crying all your frustrations out. He just stood there, comforting you.

Both of you were sitting on the bench of the park, enjoying the warm breeze. You knew that John wanted to know what’s going on badly, so you decided to tell him, everything. “I’m married.” You stated simply. “But, there’s no ring on your finger!” He exclaimed, feeling shocked. “It’s a forced marriage actually. But unlike those in dramas, I actually love him. He doesn’t feel the same though. He was unhappy; he said that I’m not worthy to wear the wedding ring. I’ll never have any love from him. He’s out flirting with other women, but I can’t do anything even if I know it. I’m weak and worthless.” You said as your tears were threatening to fall again. “Why don’t you divorce?” He asked softly. “I can’t… Bear to do it. I love him, and I’ll never stop.”

Since then, both of you had been hanging out more often. In the afternoon, you two will hang out in the park. John had been treating you nicely too. He showed you care when no one else were there for you. Till one day, “Do you want to eat ice cream?” John asked you. “Alright!” You said happily. “So that’s where you’ve been.” A voice that makes your hair on your neck stood up. You slowly turned to the voice, and there stood Zack with another woman. You began to stand up and John followed suit. “No, Zack. I… I can explain.” “There’s nothing to explain, you being with another guy when you’re supposed to be at home.” John protectively stood in front of you and said to Zack, “What about you? You’re supposed to be at home with your wife and yet you’re here, with another woman.” “It’s none of your business.” Zack replied rudely while the woman beside him was standing with an arrogant look. “It’s my business now because I love her.” John stated. You stood still out of shock. Zack chuckled without humor, “look. Being a married woman, you have another guy to love you. What’s so good about you? He must be blind.” He said, looking straight at you. You could feel your tears filling your eyes. Zack turned back to walk away with the woman beside him, leaving you and John. “Hey, Susan. You okay? Just ignore that jerk.” John tried to console you.

Zack left to a club and began to drink his heart out. He didn’t know why he is so upset just because that John admitted that he loves you. Was he jealous? No, couldn’t be. He tried to convince himself that he loves Susan not. But it seems that his heart is protesting. Whenever he is with Susan, he would try to be cold and mysterious. He didn’t want to let Susan know more about him. Its better this way, he thought. But, his heart is crying out, I love you to Susan…

After crying, there’s only dead silence between you and John. The sun is setting, you decided to leave. “It’s getting darker, I should go back now.” You said quietly, getting up to leave. “Wait.” John said and you stopped at your track without looking back at him. “I know you must be shock of my confession today. I didn’t want to tell you because I know you still love him…” “Stop! Stop saying… Zack’s right. You should love another girl instead. Why me? I’m worthless, a trash.” You kneeled onto the floor crying. What did you do to deserve such pain? You were sick and tired of everything. You could not hold on much longer anymore. It hurts emotional pains. John went forward to hug you, quietly sobbing with you.

After a long day, you lay down on your bed. Closing your eyes, you remembered how John cried with you. He was always there, never giving you up. Even though you still love Zack, he said that he would wait. Out of the sudden, the door bang. You were startled but you knew Zack was home. You quickly turned to your sides and pretended to sleep. Zack walked till he’s in front of you and caress your face. You lightly shivered from his touch. “You know, Susan… I always loved you, but… I’m a chicken. I don’t dare to admit so I would cover it up by hurting you. I’m sorry.” He said softly and went to shower. After he went off, your face was filled with tears. Why must you tell me everything now? Why is my feeling wavering?

You went off to a hotel to stay as you need to have a clear mind. You were frustrated with all of these dramas going on. Your cellphone is ringing every single time so you decided you switch it off. After two days of no troubles, you were totally replenished. It seems like you had no troubles at all but now, you know you have to make a decision that would change your life.

As John could not contact you, he thought Zack did something to you. He went to your house and knocked. When no one answered, he almost knock the whole door down till, “hey! What are you doing to my house!” Zack who just came back shouted. “Where is Susan?” John demanded. “I don’t know.” Zack shrugged. “I’m here.” You said, appearing behind both of them. “Where did you go to? I call you many times!” John said. “I’m here, because I want to make a decision.” You said with 100 percent of seriousness. Both of them waited for you to start. “Thank you Zack, for letting me love you. I’m happy to be your wife, even though there’s no true love between us.” “No Susan, it’s not true. I love you, but I…” You shake your head. “It’s already too late. John, thank you for being such a good friend, always. I’m sorry, I can’t return the feelings.” You looked at him apologetically. “I hope 3 of us would remain friends as I’m going to start on my new life.”

I loved before and I had been loved. It’s enough for me because I need no dramas already.

Written by: http://theonlydrug.blogspot.com

Ps/ It's a little off, I guess.

Cruelest fact is that I still love you.

I’ve cried for countless times, I’ve waited for very long, I’ve tried calling, I’ve tried all ways to find him, but he has not appeared. I could only see him through the television, him being interviewed. For these 2 months, I’m sick and tired of it. Was I being used as a spare toy? I don’t know if there’s love anymore. It’s always me loving him and not him loving me. Even if he does love me, I don’t feel it. I’m going to end this once and for all.

I watched today’s news. They said that he came back from business. I looked at my phone, no calls or texts. He is a business man, a very successful one. Our relationship has been kept as a secret as he didn’t want paparazzi to follow me everywhere. I didn’t mind if our relationship is public or not, but is he that busy to not find me at all? This shall be the end, I thought as I wrote a letter.

Dear Ken,

Maybe by the time you’ve read this letter, you won’t be seeing me anymore. At least, I hope you won’t be. I’m happy for everything we had gone through for the first 3 months but these 2 months I really could not stand it anymore. Where’ve you been? I’ve been trying all means to contact you to no avail. Do you want a break up? Why can’t you just say it in my face? Why must you hide around, to hurt me even more? I’m sorry. It’s draining my energy to love you. Find a better person who can love you more than me. Waiting for you, is like forever.

Love,

Charlotte.

My tears were uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks. Our 5 months relationship is going to end like this? I packed everything he had given me into a box, putting the letter inside too. Once I have reached his house, I placed the box outside the doorstep. I rang the doorbell 3 times and quickly went home. I quickly packed everything I need into my luggage and also quickly booked a ticket to Australia, for the time being. I needed to get everything out of my mind for now. As I was fumbling with the door lock, “you really gave up on me?” I dropped my keys when I heard him. I slowly turned around to face him; his beautiful features never failed to stun me. I continued to stare at his beautiful eyes. “I know what I did was wrong, I really do. Please, give me – no give us a chance again. Will you?” Without me knowing, I started to cry again. “No… No, please. Leave me alone will you?” “Why? I’m sorry, I… My manager says that I’ve spent too much time on relationship and I began to neglect my company so I… I” “So you decided to hurt me instead?!” I shouted.

I continued as he kept quiet. “Was everything just a dream? Did you know, how much time I’ve spent finding you. You could have told me… You could have told me everything! But no, you chose to run away. Leaving me heartbroken. I’m tired really. Loving you is like loving someone who would never love me back! It’s always me struggling to love you, not you trying your best to show me love…” “No, you’re wrong. I really lo-..” “STOP. Don’t say it… You know, overall… What hurts me the most?” I chuckled darkly. “Cruelest fact of all, I still love you.”

Written by: http://theonlydrug.blogspot.com

Broken promise.

John exclaimed, " I love you, can we be together? " " Obviously no? You still don't know me well, " Fion replied. John met Fion in facebook, they both then had an awesome conversation over the net. Due to Fion's boredness, she suggested to have a talk over the phone as she finds it more interesting. On the same night, John confessed his love, you may find it odd, that that's really what happen. Fion didn't accept it as they don't know each other well. But Fion told John something that kept him waiting, " 100days, " she said.That's the promise they made to each other. Phone calls everynight was common for them as John promised it, and silly Fion, she would be the one looking forward to everyone of them. Gradually, John made a lot of excuses to not have the phone call also also show her lots of cold shoulder.
Many things were happening to Fion then. Falling sick, friendship failures, poor results and so on. Her only wish at that time was John to care,  but that small little wish was crumpled by him too. Then, Fion got to know a new hot guy in her school. Although he's one year younger, there's many things different about him. He's much more mature then other guys too. They both became great friends and then, Amos confessed to her too. Without any considerations, she accepted it. They appeared to be loving, but deep inside Fion's heart, there's still John. She thought having a new boyfriend would made John jealous, but it didn't turn out that way.
After a few days, John and phone had a chat over the phone, as Fion recieved a sudden call from him. She was shocked but happy. He still speaks words of care, like drinking more water and things. But on that morning, Fion found out that he's attached too. So, the promise between both was broken.
Still, Fion still love John, and she's wondering if John's the same too. Can you give her a good answer? But she left the conversation with a last sentence, saying: I'm still holding on to the promise we made.

Written by: http://vanzkitty.tumblr.com

Ice princess.

I didn’t know how I changed, how I built this cold piece of barrier around me… Just when I thought I had gotten over him, I realized that I had not, not until someone else came around and helped me…
I walked in the school hallway which was always filled with people. People started to give way when they saw it was me till someone grabbed my wrist and turned me around. “What the hell are-“ I turned around just to see my boyfriend, I mean not exactly boyfriend, Keith. Before I could speak, he exploded into a rush of colourful words. “What the heck were you thinking? Cheating behind my back? Do you think I’m stupid?! You this freaking bitch, thinking that you are superb huh?” He spat those words at me. The whole hallway turned silent, so quiet that even if a pin drops, you could hear it clearly. I smiled sarcastically back at him and flung my wrist off his hold. “What do you think mister? Before you dated me, you should already know my reputation in this school, but you chose to ignore it. So whose fault is it? Is it mine? Don’t say as if like I’m the only one in wrong here. Don’t think I don’t know what the hell you were doing when you were dating me. You, flirting with the ladies in the club, lying to me that you’re busy. Don’t think I’m stupid. Think before you try to blame anything on me. Besides, our love is only a game. You knew it, so don’t act as if I belong to you and only you.” With the last word, I spun on my heels and walked off, leaving him in shock and nothing to say.
Are you asking me what’s happening? Well, in this school people are scared of me. Just say the name Jasmine and people would be scared, being girl or boy. I’ve the power to kick them out of the school as my dad is the major stockholder in the school. Whatever I do, he doesn’t care as long as I don’t get into major trouble. People called me the ‘ice princess’ and it wasn’t for nothing. I sighed, that idiot totally ruined my mood for the whole day. I turned around and went back home, not caring if the teacher does report to my father or not. I locked myself in the room, a flood of memories went through me as I thought about that Keith had said, “Cheating behind my back? ...”
[Flashback] I was holding hands with Dan while walking home. We enjoyed the comfortable silence around us and I thought I was the happiest girl on earth. Just as we reached my doorstep, I asked him “Do you want to come in?” He shakes his head no, “I’ve something on later on, shall pop in later in the evening.” He grinned my favourite smile at me. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away. I went back into my room and changed to comfortable clothes. Just then my best friend, Jennie, called me. “Hey Jas, are you free now?” I thought about it, since Dan wouldn’t be here till evening. “Yeah, till evening. Why?” “I’m really bored, come to the park nearby please?” “Sure, in 10 minutes.” I packed the stuff I need and headed down to the nearby park where Jennie and I always hang out.
Jennie and I sat at the swing for god knows how long. We chatted about many stuff, mostly about relationships and life. Just then, we heard giggling and laughter behind. We turned around just to face a few trees. “Dan! Stop it, it’s ticklish.” I heard a girl said, the voice is awfully familiar. Dan? No, it couldn’t be. Not my Dan… My doubts were cleared when Jennie and I inched closer to the voice, just to see Dan, MY Dan, kissing the girl I had always hated, Wendy. She’s the snobbiest bitch in my school, often looking down on people, including me. Both of them turned around when Jennie shouted, “What the hell are you doing with Wendy?!” Dan immediately pushed Wendy away and tried to hold my hands, “Jasmine! It’s not what you think. It’s Wendy; she tried to kiss me first!” “What? You’re blaming on me? You’re the one who said that you loved me and you were just playing with her!” Wendy shrieked as she pointed at me. “What?” The word came out as soft as a whisper. “No Jasmine, listen to me.” I really could not think clearly now. I turned and ran away; I didn’t care if it was Jennie or Dan who was shouting for me. I just could not think straight right now.
While I ran, things were starting to get into my head. Dan and Wendy, Dan cheating on me, Dan playing on me, Dan loved Wendy. Why? Oh god. I immediately stopped running when I started to choke on the air. Or was it tears? I started to gasp and cry. Sitting down on the pavement, I didn’t care how I looked now. So all those happiness I had before was fake, nothing was real at all. It was all a dream, a nightmare. Dan caught up with me; he slowed down his steps as he walked towards me. Kneeling down before me, he tried to hold my arm when I flung it off before he could even touch it. “Don’t touch me.” I said with anger in my voice. He was stunned, his hand in mid air before trying to hold me again. “Don’t freaking touch me with your dirty hands.” I said through my gritted teeth as I looked at him. His eyes were unreadable. I stood up and he followed me. I started walking to my house and he was following me behind. I finally could not stand it; I turned around and gave him a slap. “So everything was fake after all? All those hugs, kisses, loves that we shared. It doesn’t matter to you does it?!” I shouted as tears started to fall from the corner of my eyes. His fingers rose to wipe the tears away from my face and I quickly took a step back. “Don’t. Don’t ever come near me.” I quickly ran into my house and shut the door harshly behind me, leaning on the door; I sat down on the floor and cried my heart out. I could hear Dan apologizing behind the door but at that time, I seriously don’t care. [End of flashback]
I woke up due to my alarm’s ringing, I fell asleep. I touched my face, it was wet. Was I crying? I shrugged it off and went to prepare. Reaching school, people started to avoid me as usual and no, I didn’t see the Keith again. I lay my head on the table as soon as I reached the classroom. When did I feel so exhausted? Students began to fill the classroom and the bell rang just when the teacher came in. I sat up a little straighter, I don’t disrespect my teachers. Well, not always. “Ahem. Class, we have a new transfer student today. Come in please.” I paid no attention to what the teacher said; I looked out to the window beside me, enjoying the scenery. “Hello. My name is Dan.” Dan? Dan? It was like something triggered me, I immediately stood up from my desk. Everyone’s eyes were at me but at that moment, I simply didn’t care. My eyes fix on the person in front, even he was shocked and I was right, it really is Dan. Looking at him made me think about my past, my gullible self and I hate it, a lot. I swiftly walked out of the classroom, not caring what everyone is thinking. I went to the girl’s bathroom that no one would go to. Why? Why is he here? I tried so hard to leave everything behind, but then he came after me. It’s like a nightmare that keeps haunting me, leaving me with no oxygen.
[Flashback] I immediately threw everything, all my belongings into the luggage. I called my parents and told them that I want to leave here. They came home immediately and asked me what happen. I cried, telling them that I want to leave desperately. They knew what happened and decided not to ask me for fear that I would break down again. I called Jennie and told her that I’m sorry, she understood. She said that we could still keep in touch with each other through the internet. That’s why I love her, she understood everything. There, I leave everything behind. All my memories and I swore never to be that pathetic silly girl ever again. [End of flashback]
Now he’s back? I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. How could I face him? Looking at him reminds me of how he cheated on me, reminds me of our love. No, there’s no love at all. It’s all lies. Just because he came back doesn’t mean that I am weak. I’m independent now and I won’t let him crumpled everything I’ve done. I looked at my reflection, I don’t recognize myself anymore. There seems to be no display of emotion on my face. Well, this is for the best isn’t it? No emotions mean no sadness and pain.
After don’t know how long of time I spent in the girl’s bathroom, I walked out. I’ve thought on how I would react if I see him. Just when I turned to a corner, I walked into someone. I was about to curse when I look at the person. I was speechless. Dan, standing there looking at me with emotions that I could not describe in his eyes. He’s looking perfect as always, he smiled at me and said “Hey Jasmine, long time no see.” His smile is one of the things that made me love him. Wait, what am I thinking about? Jasmine! This person is the one who cheated on you and yet he’s pretending that nothing has happened? I quickly composed myself and walked off after giving him a cold look. I keep telling myself not to turn back. I quickly walked out from his sight and went to my next class. This isn’t as easy as I thought. A few days passed by like this, with me trying to avoid Dan. I didn’t know why but I just couldn’t face him. It was another brand new day and there’s a rumor about a new hot guy coming in our school. I didn’t bother about the rumors; it was the usual whenever a new student is coming, “Hello everyone, I’m Nathaniel. I just came back from an overseas trip. Please guide me along.” He was… Cute. His eyes seem to be smiling and he looks fit and muscular. “Alright Nathaniel, go and take a seat beside Jasmine.” I didn’t bother to raise my hand as it’s clearly that the vacant seat is beside me and thus, I’m Jasmine. He walked towards the seat beside me and turned to me, “hello.” I looked briefly at him and nodded then I faced outside the window again. From then, we didn’t bother with each other.
After class, I swiftly walked out of the classroom till I bumped into someone. “Ouch!” That person said. “Sorry… Not.” I said as I looked up to see the person that I never wanted to see again. I began to walk away till he grabbed my arm. “What happen? Why have you changed?” He asked me. He still dares to ask? “Let me go. Now.” I said it through my gritted teeth. I struggled to get out of his hold but he kept on tightening his grip around my arm. Just when I was about to shout, another arm came and pulled my arm away from his grasp. “Touch her one more time and you’ll get it.” That voice said. I looked up to see my savior, Nathaniel. He seems different… Dangerous, but dangerously cute. “Who are you to her?” Dan asked. He seems to be taunting Nathaniel. Yeah. Who is Nathaniel to me? Why is he helping me when I’ve treated him coldly? “I am someone… special to her.” My eyes widened in shocked. Special? Dan looked at me to see if what Nathaniel is saying the truth but, I was being dragged away.
We sat at the side of the pool, looking at swimmers swimming. “Thank you… For helping me just now.” “No problem.” We kept quiet, not knowing what to say. “Err, aren’t you going to ask me anything?” “You will tell me, if you want to.” He’s different from any kind of guys I knew before. Dan, even if you don’t feel like telling him, he’ll force you to. “He… He is Dan. I’ve dated him before but… But he cheated on me.” My tears were threatening to fall. “I thought… I thought that we would last. I thought everything we shared were real. But no, it’s all a dream. Too good to be true.” I couldn’t hold it any longer, my tears spilled onto my cheeks. I didn’t know why I told him everything. Could he be, someone special to me? He lightly pushed my head on his shoulder, and wraps his arm around my shoulder, comforting me.
We became very close soon after and Dan stopped talking to me. Nathaniel didn’t tell everyone my secrets. Because of him, my cold barrier I’ve built to protect myself broke and shattered. I stopped being bitchy to everyone and instead, I’ve friends now. I walked into the school, seeing couples everywhere. Today it’s Valentine’s Day. I opened my locker to find roses and chocolates. I took out the shiny light blue card at the side. It says ‘if you could, please meet me now at the rooftop. I’m waiting for you, ever. –Love.’ It didn’t say who it is from, so I decided to go and find out.
After climbing few flights of stairs, I’m exhausted. I opened the door to the rooftop way, to see a guy’s back. “Hey, you’re…?” I asked. He turned around and surprised me. It’s Nathaniel! “Nathaniel? What are you doing here? Wait, are you the one who sent me the card?” I eyed him suspiciously. He began to walk towards me. “I know that you have a sad history before but, I’m different. I’m not like him who would break your heart. I would treasure you, more than anything. I can ensure you that all this is not a dream. Its reality, real, the truth. Would you… Would you be my girlfriend?” I was stunned for the moment. “Answer please?” He said. “Oh erm. I…” Would he be like Dan? No, he would not. He’s different from Dan. “I would.” He broke into a smile and hugged me. I never thought I could love again, but now. I know, Nathaniel had my heart forever.

Written by: http://theonlydrug.blogspot.com

Why do you steal my heart when you've no intention of keeping it?

" I thought you would be mine one day ," Jane told Ben. Both of them started being friends since 3years ago. Nevertheless, they will have endless things to talk about throughout the night almost everyday. They continued this for a month. As time goes by, their daily chat were getting lesser and lesser. But silly Jane, she still kept on waiting for a miracle, she believed, this would prove her love towards Ben. For once, Ben texted her asking if she wanted to have a talk over the phone. Jane agreed delightfully. Their conversation lasted for quite a long time. As usual, Ben would be @ there singing Jane's favorite song. This routine was repeated over the years, which is obviously, Ben treating Jane hot and cold. Jane knew, deep inside her heart, things were happening too fast, falling in love with him was a wrong choice. She tried to keep herself occupied with things since then. Till now, she's still waiting and waiting, loving and missing.

Written by: http://vanzkitty.tumblr.com

A nice picture isn't the work of a the photographer, but the picture itself is what's beautiful.

" Once upon a time, life was a roller coaster ride, felt like no one cared, and someone, no one give a damn, somehow everything sucked so much. " Said the  girl to the boy. The boy wasn't happy, he cared for the girl so damn much, he was just too afraid afraid of rejection.

Once day, she was sitting in the park all alone, reading, crying. The boy came with the camera, took a picture of her and she got a shock. She said, " Why did you take a picture of me? Please delete it, " The boy was looking at the picture, he smiled then said, " Why are you crying, why are you alone?" The girl started rubbing her tears off her eyes and said, " Oh, I'm waiting for someone, why are you here?" The boy thought again, he then replied with a smile, " I was taking pictures of nature, hardly anyone would understand. People are always on the net, dont you agree? People are always lying about themselves, who they are, that they dont come out and look at the world outside. Do you know that when I wake up, I always have funny hair standing up? And when i'm happy, I stamp my feel and dance around. When i'm sad, I stone at a corner. "  The gril just lisened and asked, " Why are you telling me all this? " The boy said, " I'm being different, I'm skipping all the cheap lies so that you'll the real me, so that you'd love me for who I'm. " The girl was taken aback, she was shock and asked, " Do you love me ? " The boy instantly lit up and said yes. She took his camera and said, " This is a nice picture. " The boy said, " A nice picture isn't the work of a the photographer, but the picture itself is what's beautiful. "

Written by: http://thblack-cigarette.blogspot.com/

I then realised, holding onto your heart forever was never easy.

" Once upon a time, I was always alone, but you appeared and changed my life." Celin said. Life was never easy before she met Zack. He is good-looking and studies in a college. That was how they met each other.

Days after days, they had been together for quite a long time. Their feelings for each other had grown deeper and deeper. They never fails to meet each other -- daily.

After months, Celin realised t hat Zack didn't really care her anymore. She was worried, but still chose to keep mum about it. She thought that she would still be happy, even though they had no more love towards each other.

But after awhile, Celin kept telling herself that dont love him anymore, hence the heartaches that she received were lesser. It was obvious that she was self-comforting.

A few days later, she suggested for the break-up. Still, the girl's heart was still with Zack, eternally. She gave him a last text, saying ' I then realised, holding onto your heart forever was never easy. '

Written by: http://vanzkitty.tumblr.com

Playboy into lover.

Waking up because of the annoying alarm as usual you sighed. You had transferred school, from SM high school to YG high
school. Grabbing the uniform that your brothers had left it at the side, you went to change. Coming out from your bathroom,
 you looked at the mirror. Shocked from what you see, your skirt was way below your knee and it looks hideous. You ran down
 the stairs to confront your brothers. You found your older brother, Emmett, seating at the dining table reading newspaper.
 “What is this thing I’m wearing?” You said calmly, not wanting to blow your top. Emmett put down the newspaper and looked
at you, with his eyes wide. He started laughing out loud because of the way you look. Your second older brother, Jasper,
came out from the kitchen, spitting out his milk that he drank when he saw your uniform. “What have you done to your uniform?
!” He screeched. You glared at him, “what had I done? If I had done something to it, it would not look like this!”
 You shouted and both of them went quiet. Gosh! Why did you buy such a long skirt?” “Err… Zafrina, you have to wear this
spectacle too.” Emmett said. I stared at the black thick frame spectacle. “No no! I am not going to wear that. It is already
enough for me to wear this long skirt!” “Zafrina, you have to understand. We are protecting you.” You glared at Emmett,
“What has long skirt and spectacle has to do with protecting me?” You asked.
“You see…” Jasper started. “This YG high school has a famous playboy. He always date with those pretty girls and dump like a
 few days later. We just did not want you to be one of his victims so we purposely dressed you up like this so you would not
 catch his attention.” “Wearing this, it’ll catch more attention!” You said desperately. “But at least he would not want you.
” Paul said and started to laugh till I glared at him. The living room was getting quiet and it was very awkward. My two
 brothers were looking at me, hoping I would say yes to their request on wearing this hideous uniform and that geek spectacle
. “Fine but if I got found out, it is not my problem.” You said as you took your bag, grab the geek spectacle from Emmett and
 stormed out of the house. Although you did not like your brothers to be that protective, but they are the only family member
s you could count on. Your parents were always going overseas to work, they did not even have the time to accompany you.
The school was not that far, it was just a 10 minutes’ walk. As you entered the school, you could see some students looking
at you. “Ignore them.” you told yourself as you continue to walk to your class. Once you walked into the class, everyone stop
ped what they are doing and looked at you. Ignoring their gaze, you went straight to the back of the row and sat on the seat
 that is beside the window. While you were reading your book, someone came up to you. You looked at the guy who was standing
 at the side of your table; he has a smug smile plastered on his face. With his hair looking like Mohawk and his small eyes
 disappearing when he smile, he looks great. “Geek, get out of my seat.” That was the first thing he said to you and you
stared at him.
The class turned quiet as they paid attention to both of you. “I don’t see your name here, so shoo.” You talked back.
“Do you know who you are talking to?” He asked. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Probably some thick-skinned person who

thinks that he can sit anywhere he wants.” He glared at you. “I am Jacob and I will make your life a living hell, geek.”
He spat the words at you and went to the other seat to flirt with the girls. You guessed that he is the playboy your
brothers are talking about though; all the girls looked at him like he is some kind of candy to eat. The teacher came in
afterwards when the bell rang.
This math lesson was getting boring as you dozed off now and then. The bell indicating that it is recess time woke you up.
 Gathering your things, you went out of the class when Jacob purposely tripped you. You fell to the floor, groaning in pain.
 He just laughed and walked off with girls swooning behind him. How could someone so evil had such good looks and girls
liking him? They must have been blind, you thought.
Your life in school is like usual routine, with Jacob disturbing you. You had made friends though, Bernice and Michelle.
 One day, your math teacher says “Zafrina and Jacob please stay back afterwards.” After the class went out, the teacher
came to both of you and said “Jacob, you know you have been failing your tests right?” He nodded sloppily. “If you continue
to keep your grades like these, I would have to inform your parents. You would not want that right?” As soon as the teacher
 mentioned parents, Jacob straightened up and shook his head. “Alright, Zafrina, could you tutor Jacob math? He has to get
at least a grade C in his next test.” “Me?!” You exclaimed. “Yes you. If you tutor him, you could skip the test next week.”
 You sighed, it was a great deal. “Fine. I will tutor him.” Jacob stared at me in disbelief; I mouthed to him ‘what’? He
 shook his head and just smile. The teacher walked off afterwards, leaving both of us awkward…
“Are you sure you want to tutor me?” Jacob asked. “Yes. Be in the library at 3pm later on. Do not be late.” You said and
walked out. It was 3.30pm, you sighed. “Why did I even think that he is going to come?!” You began to pack my things when
someone came. “Been waiting long?” He smirked. “Oh no, I just came.” You replied sarcastically. He sat opposite me, looking
at those assessments on the table. “I have to learn all these?” “Yes, you’re failing your math… Badly.” He shrugged.
“If you do not want to retain for this year, you better listen.” “Ok. Fine.” He said. After half an hour of teaching, he
 groaned. “It is so boring!” “School is supposed to be boring; I rather much hang out with my friends instead of teaching
you.” You said. “I thought geeks are supposed to love school?” He asked. “Your perception of geek is wrong then.” After
teaching him for 2 hours, it was 6pm. “Alright, we will end here.” You packed my things and walked out of the library.
“Hey!” You turned around seeing Jacob catching up. “It is pretty late, need me to fetch you home?” “What is the catch?”
“Catch?” He raised his eyebrow. “Yeah, there have to be an advantage for you right?” You replied. “No, I am just being kind.”
 “Alright.” You said as we walked to his car. Awkward silence filled the air throughout the journey. Stopping in front of
your house, you said thanks and get out of the car. “Goodbye.” Jacob said and drove off. You were surprised that he said
goodbye to you. Unknowingly, you smiled. “Why am I smiling just because he said goodbye?” You thought. Shrugging it off,
 you went inside your house.
Next day when I reached the school, people started looking at me whenever I pass them. Just then, Michelle and Bernice came.
 “Did you hear the rumors?” Bernice asked. “What rumor?” You asked with confusion. “People are saying that Jacob likes you!”
“What?!” You said, baffled. “No, that would be impossible. Those rumors are crazy.” You said, shaking your head as You
walked. “Maybe…” Bernice said.

One day, math teacher told you and Jacob to stay back after class. “Jacob, I am proud of you. You got a B for your test.”
 She said and passes the paper to him. “Thank you.” He said and the teacher left the
classroom. You went up to him and hugged him. “Congrats!” “Thanks to you.” He said. Letting go, you looked at me. He was
softly gazing you, you could feel the heat rushing up to your cheek making you blush. Coughing awkwardly, you said “time
for recess.” He nodded and leaves the class with you following him behind. The rest of the day passed quickly.
“I am going to be late!” You shouted as you quickly grabbed your stuffs and rushed out of the house. You skidded to a
stop as you saw a red sport car outside your house. The window rolled down and Jacob came into view. “I guessed you might
need a ride.” He said and you nodded happily and jumped into his car. Jacob would glance at you now and then, and your heart
 pumps even faster. What is this feeling? You thought… As you reached the school, you thanked him and get out of the car.
 People were whispering, thinking why Jacob sent you to school. You ignored them and went straight to your class. During
lunch time, Bernice and Michelle dragged you to a corner. “What?” You asked them. “Tell us the truth, you like Jacob right?”
 Bernice asked with her eyebrow raised. “Err… Err… No! Why would I like him? He is selfish, arrogant, err… Irritating…” You
said. “Sweet, caring, and even waited for you in the morning right?” Michelle continued for you. “Yes. I mean no!”
You quickly changed. “Caught you! You said yes!” Michelle exclaimed. You thought about it, every time he comes near you,
your heart would beat faster. You would blush whenever he got too close. You sigh, “Yes. I like him.”
After telling Bernice and Michelle, you three went for lunch as usual. This time, Jacob called out for you and your
friends to sit with him. “This is my friends, Paul and Edmund.” You greeted them and asked Jacob. “Why so special today?”
 He knew what you meant, “Just felt like it.” He replied casually. After school, Jacob offered to send you home.
You agreed and told your friends. On the way home in his car, you asked “Why are you being so kind to me these days?”
 He stopped his car at one side and replied. “I like you.” These three words made your heart pump even faster. “Really?”
 You asked, not believing because he was once a playboy, someone who always flirts. As if he read your mind, he said
“I know I am a playboy last time but I had changed when I met you. Trust me, please.” “I-I like you too.” You said as you
looked down, embarrassed of your confession. He laughed, holding one of your hands he began to drive to your house. Before
 getting out of his car, he gave you a kiss on the cheek, making your heart stopped. Dizzily, you get out of his car.
Before he drove off, he said “I will fetch you tomorrow morning.”
You went into your house smiling to yourself like crazy. Your brothers saw it and asked “What happened to you? Did you knock
 your head or something?” Frowning, you said “No.” You began to think, your brothers forbid you to date the playboy but you
did not listen. To make things even worse, you fell in love with the playboy. No, past playboy. Feeling guilty, you buried
your head to your bed and sleep. Waking up, you remembered that Jacob is going to fetch you today. Excitedly, you began to
 change and prepare. Getting out of your house, you saw Jacob standing there leaning on his car. You walked up to him and he
 opened the passenger door for you. Smiling, you got inside and both of you went to school.
Holding hands, you two started to walk to class. Girls were giving you glares but you do not care.
You were feeling happiness all along with Jacob by your side. During class, you were thinking about your problem;
the acting of geek. Jacob did not know, so you think that you should tell him. After class, you pulled him with you
and headed to the garden behind the school. “I have something to tell you.” You told him. He nodded, waiting for you to
continue. Taking off your geek spectacle, you said “actually… I am not a geek.”
 He widens his eye, “but how?” You looked down to your feet and explained. “My brother knew that there is a playboy
in this school so they are worried for me. They wanted me to act like a geek so that you would not play with me.
You sighed, “I am sorry for lying to you all along.” He took a step closer to you and said “I do not blame you, no matter
 how you look; you are still the one I love.” Smiling at him, you went forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Okay,
let’s go and eat.”
At the end of the day, Jacob sends you home. Knowing that your brothers were not at home today, you invited Jacob in.
Both of you were cuddling up, watching a horror movie. Just then, the front door opened and your two brothers came in.
 Shocked, you quickly stood up. Emmett and Jasper saw the playboy that they hated in their house and shouted “Why is he here!
” You cringed at the booming loud voice. “I...” You decided to tell them the truth. “I am dating Jacob.” You stated firmly.
 Jacob came behind you and took your hand, holding it tightly. “I won’t hurt her.” He simply stated. “You won’t hurt her?
 At that time I saw you flirting with many girls.” Jasper flared. You never saw your brothers that angry before. “I know
what you think of me…and I know what I’ve done in the past is wrong, in so many ways it’s wrong. But I care for ~~~~~~ ah
and I promise I won’t hurt her” Jacob reasoned. “Please brothers, he won’t hurt me and I love him. I never dated anyone
before because you guys tried to protect me. But please let me be on my own for once, if I get hurt, that’s my consequences.”
 You said, with tears welled up in your eyes. “I’ll never hurt you.” Jacob said. “Alright. I let you two be together.
But if you ever hurt my little sister, you will suffer.” Emmett said, after being quiet for so long. “Thank you.”
 You smiled as you ran up to him and hugged him.
Weeks passed and your brothers could see that Jacob truly loved you. They even bribed some students in your school to keep a lookout on Jacob, to see if he is flirting with other girls or cheating. But no, he did not. Now, the whole school knew about you and Jacob and no one oppose both of you.

Written by: http://theonlydrug.blogspot.com

Friend & lover betrayal.

“How could you? How could you betray me!” I shouted as I tried to control the tears that were threatening to fall. “Sica, you are really naïve huh? Why would I want to be your friend anyway? Not like you are that popular or fun.” She smirked, holding on to the guy beside her, cuddling closer. It hurts… I looked at the couple in front of me. The girl whom I had always trusted relying her on anything and the guy whom I had always loved. Those trust and love which I held in them, disappeared as I let the first tear of mine dropped…
Locking the door behind me, I turned to see Tiffany, my best friend who was with me for two years waiting for me at the walkway. “Sica! Quick, we are going to be late soon!” My name is Jessica, but Tiffany loved to call me Sica as my nickname while I call her Tiff. We would always walk to school together in the morning. Once we reached the school hall, the first person I saw was Jay. I ran into his arms and hugged him tightly, whispering “I miss you…” to him. He hugged me back but it seems like a awkward hug till Tiffany came behind me and says “don’t be that loving in front of me, it’s too sweet.” I laughed and broke off the hug as she dragged the word sweet. Kissing Jay on the cheek, telling him that we will meet at recess, I walked to the next class with Tiffany.
After those boring lessons, it was finally recess time. As I entered the canteen with Tiffany, my eyes immediately searched for Jay. I found him at the side of the canteen so I pulled Tiffany along with me. We sat together at the table and ate. A few friends of ours cracked jokes and made us laughed. It was nice; I love the feeling of having your loved ones and friends together with you. A very warm feeling which I could not describe it… As I have to see my history teacher later, I left the canteen early but not forgetting to give Jay a kiss on the cheek as he just nodded at me.
Later then, I was in the class waiting for Tiffany to come. We had most of our lessons together. She came in with a smug smile. I wonder why… “Tiff, why do you look so happy? Anything happen?” “It’s nothing! Just feeling in a good mood.” She smiled at me, which I somehow find it creepy. I shrugged it off, not knowing what comes after me later… After school, I want to the music room to find Jay as he sends me a message that he needed to talk to me. I have a bad feeling about it, but it could not be what I think is it? As I entered the room, I saw his back facing me. I ran up and hugged his waist from behind, but he took my hand off. I looked at him with confusion. “We are over.” These three words got me into shock. “Why? What happen? What did I do wrong?” I bombarded him with questions with anxiety filling me up.
“I don’t have the same feelings anymore.” After hearing this one sentence, I took a step back looking at him in disbelief. We were still fine this morning, what had gone into us? I tried to recall the things happening in the morning. The awkward hugging in the morning and the nodding of head in the canteen, it made me realized that things had not been the same since this morning. I shook my head to erase those thoughts from my head. “No! I don’t believe you…” I said as tears were rolling down my cheek. “Are you that naïve? I said we’re over. We had nothing to do with each other anymore.” He brushed past my shoulder and walked away. I turned to see his back retreating from me, not bothering to give me one last look.
I kneeled down on the floor crying, feeling devastated. After crying my heart out, I felt much better. I walked out of school, just in time to see a girl holding hands with Jay. I could not see the girl very well, but she looks like someone I knew. My heart broke knowing he loved another girl instead of me, breaking up with me because of that girl. Little did I know…
I walked to Tiffany’s house, wanting to tell her what had happened and let her comfort me. Just when I walked up near her house, I saw Jay kissing her passionately. I walked up to them and pulled them apart. Both of them looked shocked as they saw me. “How could you? How could you betray me!” I shouted as I tried to control the tears that were threatening to fall. “Sica, you are really naïve huh? Why would I want to be your friend anyway? Not like you are that popular or fun.” She smirked, holding on to the guy beside her, cuddling closer. I glared at Jay, “is not that you have no feelings for me is it? You are going out with my best friend behind my back right!” I shouted, with accusation in my voice. He looked away instead of giving me an answer. “Fine… I would never ever want to see both of you again!” I shouted as I ran, not knowing where my feet will bring me. I just wanted to get out of this horrible world, horrible place.
Have you ever suffer from pain so much till you wish you had never been born? I knew I had. I did not know making a wrong decision could bring you so much pain and overwhelmed sadness. If I ever knew I had trusted the wrong person, loving the wrong guy could break hurt me so badly. I would never make that decision. It was just one simple mistake that broke my heart into pieces.

Written by: http://theonlydrug.blogspot.com

You'll never know how to treasure until you lost it.

Sometimes I wonder, am I your curse, your bad luck? If I did not ran across that road, you would not have died. I want to return to the past, where I can change that incident, but I knew that is was impossible. I hate her to the core, but I could not blame her. You are perfect in every way, I am lucky to have you, but I let my jealousy get over me. Getting to know you is my fortune. Call me selfish if you want but I really could not let you go…
I smoothed down my skirt as I stepped out of the car. Facing this average looking school, I sighed. It was not my choice to move school, but I did not have a choice did I? Walking down the corridor to my class, my heart beats rapidly. As soon as the teacher saw me, she said to the class “We will have a new transfer student today, please guide her along.” There were still a few murmurings. I stepped in and the class got quiet. “Would you introduce yourself to your classmates?” The teacher asked. I wanted to say no but I could not talk back to the teacher. “Yes… Hello everyone, I am Nami. I hope to be good friends with you.” “Okay Nami… You shall seat beside Max, Max raise your hand!” The guy named Max raised his hand as my eyes flickered to him.
I went to the seat beside him and he turned to give me a smile. I shyly smiled back and focus on the lesson. It was recess time when I went to the canteen, searching for a spot where I can sit. Most people have their own cliques; a group of girls put their bags to the seat beside them. Clearly I was not liked by them. I sighed and skipped recess. Making my way to the basketball court, I loved to sit down by the side and relax. I leaned back against the railing and closed my eyes till I realized there is a presence beside me. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the guy, Max again. He smiled and says “not eating?” “Not hungry…” He nodded and closed his eyes, leaning his back on the railing. I took a closer look at him, with his hair styled nicely to the left and high cheekbones, he actually look quite dashing.” “Done staring?” He suddenly asked which shocked me. “Err… Err… I am sorry.” I said as I looked down. “Don’t need to be scared, I’m not going to eat you up.” He smiled and I could feel the heat rushing up to my cheek. I was not used to being close with a guy.
“Want to be friends with me?” He asked and I stared at him. “Would your friends mind?” “I do not have close friends, want to be the first?” He winked at me. “S… Sure.” I stuttered. Few weeks passed and Max is always by my side. We are more than good friends, should I say best friends? A part of me saddened at the mention of best friends. I wanted to be more than that… I realized that I like him. He is the one who always cheers me up when I am down. He is also the one who always stood by me when I feel all alone. I wanted to confess to him but if I got rejected, it would affect our friendship and honestly I did not want to lose him.
By lunch time, I walked down the hall trying to find Max. I was about to shout when I notice him, but I realized that he was not alone. There was this girl hugging him affectionately. I could feel tears filling up my eyes and I involuntarily made a sniff. Both of them turned to look at me and I quickly turned and ran before they could see my tears. I ran to the girl’s bathroom and locked the door. Crying out my heart, thinking how foolish I am. I could hear Max banging on the door, calling me to open up but I ignored him. After more than fifteen minutes, I figured that he would be gone by then. I looked at the mirror, my eyes is a little swollen and nose a little red. I slowly walked out, walking towards the classroom when someone wraps his arm around my waist. “Why are you crying?” He whispered against my ear, sending

me chills all over my body. I turned around, glaring at him. “Why are you here?! Do you not need to accompany your girlfriend? Why do you care about me anyway?” I shouted, turning around to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. “My girlfriend? You think the girl just now is my girlfriend?” “Why not? She is… She… I don’t know and I don’t care anymore!” I screamed as I started to walk forward when he suddenly spun me around and hugged me. I was stunned, my feet rooted to the ground. “Don’t… Don’t go. I don’t like Miranda, she is my childhood friend.” Miranda? Who is she? I asked myself when I realized that Miranda is the girl that he hugged earlier on and she was his childhood friend. He released the hug and looked earnestly at me. “I like you Nami, since the first day I had met you. Would… Would you want to be my girlfriend?” Smiling from ear to ear, I nodded and hugged him again. The school bell rang, indicating that we are late for class. Releasing the hug, Max held my hand and we ran to class.
It was our second month anniversary. We quarreled like any other normal couples but still, we made up. I looked at the mirror; I was wearing a black cocktail dress down to two inches above my knee with black silver heels and a silver purse. A couple necklace that Max had given me on our first month anniversary hung on my neck. Just then, the doorbell rang. I went to get the door. Max is smartly dressed as usual, a white tuxedo as he smiled at me. Holding his hand, we began to walk down the streets. Just then his phone rang. He answered it with a smile, ending it with a frown. “What happen? Who called?” I asked worriedly. “Nothing… Just that Miranda needs me, her boyfriend broke up with her and she’s upset so I have to go and see her.” “I stared at him in disbelief, shaking my head “why? Is she more important than us? “I shouted. Why can’t he realize that she also liked him? Miranda was one of the reasons that we quarrel the most. “YOU can’t say that about her!” He shouted back at me. I flung my hand off his and dashed across the road. “NAMI!!!” I heard him shouting after me and before I know, I heard the wheels of the car screeching and followed by a loud sound of bang. I turned around in time to see Max falling onto the ground, with bloody spilling behind his head.
“NOOOOO!” I screamed and cried. Running to his almost lifeless body, I shook him. “No no, Max! Stay awake, don’t leave me!” He used his energy to raise his hand, caressing my cheek. “I-I’m sorry. It… is not your fault… Be happy…” was his last word. I cried and shout and everyone was looking at me as if I was crazy but I seriously did not care. The ambulance came not long after and Max was being wheeled into the emergency room. His parents came and saw me in a very messy state, with hair ruined and blood stained on my dress. “I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry,” I cried as I told them repeatedly. His mother hugged me and cried, “it is not your fault…” Why? Why does everyone keep telling me that it is not my fault when clearly it is? After one hour which feels like a decade, the doctor came out shaking his head and saying I’m sorry. I went to the room to see Max for the last time. Crying as I held his hand, I will never forget this date. This date when he confessed to me, when we celebrated our first month and when he left me.
I let my jealousy get over me and I regretted it. They say you will never know how to treasure till you lost it. I always thought that sentence was random. Now, I truly understand because I have been through it.

Written by: http://theonlydrug.blogspot.com